{"id":5477,"date":"2021-08-23T06:12:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-23T12:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/?p=5477"},"modified":"2021-12-22T07:58:31","modified_gmt":"2021-12-22T14:58:31","slug":"how-to-rebuilt-resilience-in-writing-in-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/2021\/08\/23\/how-to-rebuilt-resilience-in-writing-in-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How to: Rebuild Resilience in Writing &#038; in Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;text-align: center;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/dot.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"Tumblr\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Email\",\"Print\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"big\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_twitter_via=\"bxwretlind\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"How%20to%3A%20Rebuild%20Resilience%20in%20Writing%20%26%20in%20Life\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psychologists and self-help gurus like to throw around the word resilience like a panacea: it\u2019s supposed to be something like aloe\u2014a natural salve that works and you don\u2019t need to know why. I agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2018Nuff said? Of course not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Resilience, as defined, is an ability to bounce back from difficulties, often emotional. Resilience is something that has to be rebuilt into a person because\u2014believe it or not\u2014as kids we were really good at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As adults, we fail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/rubber_band.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"366\" src=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/rubber_band.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5478\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/rubber_band.jpg 640w, https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/rubber_band-300x172.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Think of a rubber band for a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is elastic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is resilient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, stick that rubber band in the sun for a few days and bake it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Resilient?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The longer the rubber band is in the sun, the more brittle it becomes. When you try to pull on it after a few weeks, it will probably break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That sun is like the tiny failures or the negative attitudes you face at work or as you sit down to write that novel. They bake your brain and turn your resilience into a brittle round thing of rubber. When a person pulls on it after a while, it\u2019ll break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When that&nbsp;<em>one<\/em>&nbsp;person say that&nbsp;<em>one<\/em>&nbsp;thing&#8230;.&nbsp;<em>Boom!<\/em>&nbsp;Fireworks!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">With respect to human performance error precursors\u2014those holes that lead to events\u2014there are several ways a lack of resilience can have a major impact:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Distractions\/Interruptions<\/li><li>Personality Conflicts<\/li><li>Time Pressures (in a hurry)<\/li><li>Irreversible Actions<\/li><li>Unclear Goals, Roles, Responsibilities<\/li><li>Lack of or Unclear Standards<\/li><li>Stress<\/li><li>Inaccurate Risk Perception<\/li><li>Mental Shortcuts or Biases<\/li><li>Imprecise Communication Habits<\/li><li>Indistinct Problem-Solving Skills<\/li><li>Unsafe Attitudes<\/li><li>&#8230;and more!<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a bit of hope, however.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Building back the resilience you had as a kid takes time and effort. You can\u2019t do it by snapping your fingers (or buying a new rubber band). You have to take it one step at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember that resilience is that deep quality that allows some people to be kicked around by a cruel life and yet still come back like Rocky or Gumby or a hobbit. Resilient people won\u2019t let failure overwhelm them and suck dry the marrow of their motivation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what are some of the factors that make a person resilient, that keep the rubber band elastic?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>A positive attitude<\/li><li>Optimism<\/li><li>The ability to regulate emotions<\/li><li>The ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You see, even after the means to the end\u2014the instrumentality of an effort\u2014fails, resilient people are blessed with an&nbsp;<em>outlook<\/em>&nbsp;that allows them to move forward in time and&nbsp;<em>not focus on failure<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Simple to do, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ha! If it was simple, well you probably wouldn\u2019t see too many instances where that&nbsp;<em>one<\/em>&nbsp;person says that&nbsp;<em>one<\/em>&nbsp;thing&#8230;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what if you\u2019re&nbsp;<em>not<\/em>&nbsp;a resilient person? What can you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The American Psychological Association (APA) has&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.apa.org\/helpcenter\/road-resilience.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">listed a few tips<\/a>&nbsp;to help you build resilience (with my notes added):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Make connections (that whole &#8220;social networking&#8221; thing existed before Twitter and Facebook, you know)<\/li><li>Help others (nothing feels better than that)<\/li><li>Maintain a daily routine (do this, do that, repeat)<\/li><li>Take a break (<a href=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/2018\/04\/19\/how-to-write-a-book-in-just-under-20-years\/\">not for years<\/a>&#8230;try it for a day or two and take a walk in the forest)<\/li><li>Learn self-care (really, if you don&#8217;t feel good, you won&#8217;t want to bounce back)<\/li><li>Move toward your goals (did you set a goal in the first place?)<\/li><li>Nurture a positive self-view (you are good at what you do; how many people have your experiences?)<\/li><li>Keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook (again, how many people have accomplished what you accomplished?)<\/li><li>Look for opportunities for self-discovery (keep learning and learning about yourself)<\/li><li>Accept that <a href=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/2018\/05\/05\/insert-song-title-about-change\/\">change is part of living<\/a> (we know that, but there are many people who are resistance to change)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a lot of help out there to help you bounce back after failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You&nbsp;<em>can<\/em>&nbsp;be resilient. You&nbsp;<em>can<\/em>&nbsp;be a rubber band again. You&nbsp;<em>can<\/em>&nbsp;relearn what you forgot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\">[subscribe2]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/resilience_pin-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/resilience_pin-2-683x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5491\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/resilience_pin-2-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/resilience_pin-2-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/resilience_pin-2-720x1080.jpg 720w, https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/resilience_pin-2.jpg 735w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;text-align: center;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/dot.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"Tumblr\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Email\",\"Print\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"big\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_twitter_via=\"bxwretlind\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"How%20to%3A%20Rebuild%20Resilience%20in%20Writing%20%26%20in%20Life\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Psychologists and self-help gurus like to throw around the word resilience like a panacea: it\u2019s supposed to be something like aloe\u2014a natural salve that works and you don\u2019t need to know why. I agree. \u2018Nuff said? Of course not. Resilience, as defined, is an ability to bounce back from difficulties, often emotional. Resilience is something&hellip; <br \/> <a class=\"button small blue\" href=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/2021\/08\/23\/how-to-rebuilt-resilience-in-writing-in-life\/\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[31,12],"class_list":["post-5477","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing-2","tag-reflection-2","tag-writing"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6.1 (Yoast SEO v27.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to: Rebuild Resilience in Writing &amp; in Life - Benjamin X. Wretlind<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Building back the resilience you had as a kid takes time and effort. You can\u2019t do it by snapping your fingers (or buying a new rubber band). You have to take it one step at a time.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bxwretlind.com\/blog\/2021\/08\/23\/how-to-rebuilt-resilience-in-writing-in-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to: Rebuild Resilience in Writing &amp; in Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Building back the resilience you had as a kid takes time and effort. You can\u2019t do it by snapping your fingers (or buying a new rubber band). 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